see
the thing is
im not talented
so its hard
its hard for me to draw
i literally had to teach myself to draw and im pretty proud of how fucking far i got like wow
but i mean
it is really hard
it is super hard to get this totally great end result
that 100% of the time i feel like puking at myself in at least one point in time
most of the time i wanna puke multiple times
its super difficult and i wish i was talented but im not
but this is the farthest ive ever got in anything that ive ever done and now i guess i can only go back down
i wanna continue arting but it doesnt seem like thats the path for me man
and my happy has been very none
i swear to god it did
i know i wasnt really arty before shool but i mean
now i cant draw on my tablett at all
when i try i end up wanting to cry beause i just cant anymore
i have two unfinished things saved on my computer
and another thing that i want to do but i didnt save because i got so absolutely fuking nowhere in it i didnt even bother
and its just been downhill
like ive been feeling neglected too
and super sad that i cant art for my fucking life anymore
and im starting to like myself less and less
whicH is a sUPER bAD THIng
like i want to art
i just cant
and i try to get inspired
i just cant
i cant even get inspired anymore i